Life does not always follow the expected path and the changes it brings along are not always easy to cope with . However if we are self conscious of what we are experiencing we can lift the pressure off ourselves. We fear change dearly because it produces unpredictability, even if change is planned it can be still daunting, thus one of the lessons I learned in my six or so months away from you friends
life is a strange difficult marathon, with it’s results unpredictable. Today can be sweet while tomorrow can be sour or verse-verse, unlike a upcoming storm we can’t prepare for the storm that life brings about (obstacles). However we can not just sit and watch because sit and watch is a sign of defeat, we try equip ourselves to the very best against the problems that arise in our lives yet that doesn’t guranteee that we would be safe from the storm.
When my life seemed to be obstacles free, I never relaxed even through things were going according to how I planned it, I never and will never fool myself that life is an easy journey. Some people advised me to enjoy life as it was a gift from God but I never thought so, I would perherps think so after I have accomplished my goals.
The holy bible says ” don’t boost about tomorrow for you don’t know what it shall bring forth “. Today is never the same as tomorrow, today has his own obstacles and tomorrow his own. I there believe we should never fool myself that I would ever be problem free, I have came to accept that obstacles are there to balance our life hood and the way we relate to each other as humans.
If we are facing an obstacle in our life today, tomorrow it might go away or another would add on the important thing is to understand and accept. But very difficult to. Because we live in a world of competition, were time lost is never recovered.
When the South-African home affairs department rejected my refugee status claim, I was very upset and confused, in fact I couldn’t understand why at that stage of my life.
But because I’m a person how never relax and wait for the right time I had before time thought such kind of thing might happen to me, it had happened to some why not me then ? Positive thinking helped prepare for this storm had it not been knowing the wrong people back home in Zimbabwe and standing for what I believe to be right I would had beaten this storm, no doubt about that ‘ remember I went to zimbabwe to try acquire the passport last year?
Instead of sitting and mourning waiting for someone to fall from haven and sort out this problem for me. I made a way although risk but had to try, there isn’t success without trying. And that trying was moving to Zambia I took such a decision after I had released the home affairs situation was beyond my control, it would had been sheer madness for me to sit and hope for the situation beyond my control.
It was a painful decision having to leave behind my friends, school, foundation and girlfriend if I had any. As I boarded the bus for Livingstone I felt like I had left my future behind. I have in the past made such painful decisions so I thought I would cope but the past is the past, in the past I wasn’t of the same calibre as now.
If relocating with enough resources can be daunting, what more about that of only having to leave with few clothes in your backpack. If we are to take a closer look at life, it’s like car only the owner really knows it’s streghts and weaknesses, despite so it can at times take the owner by surprise and develop a certain unexpected problem beyond the owners reach.
At times we think I will achieve that such,such in 10 years time and only realize later that we can actually make that such, such possible in 50 years time. When we fail to reach that goal or dream in that specific timeline, what then ? What do we think of ourselves ? We feel like failures and losers, thus our self-esteem drops and when our self -esteem drops mean we are even in serious trouble. We tend to believe we are never going to succed in what dream we try to chase. It is important however to acknowledge and understand what failure mean to you as an individual,once we understand this part we will know how to handle our emotions, thus keep believing in our own capability and standing firm on our feets during those demanding moments .
I have approached life with such attitude and it helps me turn daunting moments of my life into positives. I have since understood failure , failure is not incapability but a learning process that allows us to correct our mistakes in a more positive, determined, enthusiastic manner. But first a person has to admit his/ her mistakes, I actually write mine down, so by doing so helps me moves forward in more curious and determined to succeed. No matter how life can be difficult for me I never bury my head oin the sand.
As a person it’s common that I mourn now and then that life treating me unfairly, but is it really ? . My experiences in the past six months is priceless, it had made me to appreciate life, that little I own, that little I have achieved. I fished out positives from this situation, that life is not about giving up when things are tough. Secondly patience dreams and goals takes a good deal of failures to achieve. Determination, stick to your goals and dreams no matter how difficult the operating environment might be.
When I arrived in Zambia I couldn’t believe how people were struggling to make ends meet, this really made me realize how fortunate I was to have a family far from home and people who does care about me so much. At first I thought people in Zimbabwe were suffering but not the extent zambians are. In zambia there isn’t any job opportunities and the poor majority of zambians can not be blamed for using there resources as if they wasn’t tomorrow, almost all trees are being copped down for fire wood sale, they over fish on their side of the zambezi, wildlife is in danger of extinction, their politicians are giving away their copper so easily to the Chinese exploiters, who has little to do with internal development and environmental impact their mining activities causes.
Youth in Zambia are so desperate for job opportunities and the sentiment of not willing to cross borders t o be subject in other countries, has made them cruel criminals, I mean a Zambian would do anything that can bring him money into the pocket.
When I reveled to some of my friends that I was going to Zambia most of whom thought I was insane, even though they were aware that the situation I was facing was behind my control, they believed it was best for me to remain in South Africa as an illegal immigrant, were they wrong or right to think that way ? The departure for Zambia was out of desperation, how could a person of my calibre with so potential leave a country with full of opportunities for as South Africa for an impoverished Zambia?
The experiences I endured when I left my village in 2008 for South Africa can not be compared to the current six months away, I thought my eyes were open but only one was. The six months without communicating with you my loved friends and not being able to do what I love doing most and having to live in deep fear was very difficult to swallow but opened my eyes to the realities of this world. I turned these hard times and the suffering I endured into my motivation, whenever I think of what I had been the past years and the current experiences I feel so hungry for success and making an impact in this world like never before. I have developed that sense that there isn’t any achievement particularly success as sweet as achieved in an environment that involves much suffering and sacrifice. Struggling from the tender age, I believe will help groom me to be a strong, responsible man the society expects me to be.
I view life today as a coin, when a coin is flipped into the air at the competition, the competitors it touches the ground on the side that favors them.understanding and accepting that there is a higher chance the coin could rest on the ground on either sides to what we had hoped for helps us cope. If life is like a coin flipped into the air, tha means chances are equally the same that we might or we might not get it right but if we don’t get right the first time next time we might, that’s why it’s important not give up.
As human beings we might not exactly know were our destine is, mine might be in Zambia, south-Africa, my village or anywhere in the world, never know as life is full of surprises.
My attitude towards life’s obstacles will stay the same, to achieve something one has to suffer. Obstacles and suffering only makes a man stronger, as Mr Mugabe once said to his political opponents. When growing up in his rural village Mr Mugabe never dreamt of ever being head of state but the brutality he suffered under the Rhodesian regime that saw him flee to Ghana, were persuaded his dream career teaching saw him integral another talent in him.
He met a woman, who later became his wife, and saw the talent within him that he capable of achieving greater things than simple being a teacher. In simple words, the obstacles that saw Mr Mugabe flee his country of birth let alone leave his family behind engineered him realize the rough gem of leadership within him and today he is president. Had it not been for an obstacle up rooting him, to Ghana would he be president today or famous ? I doubt so.
The baseline here is we don’t need to mask our feelings or try put on a brave face in time distress attempting to cope alone, because doing so may not make us realize some of our talents, they are those talents we don’t see but others see them for us and encourage us to follow up.
We need support from friends and family when we are going through times of change (hardships) because life is a coin, an coin has two different sides that makes it an complete coin !
MY ZAMBIAN NIGHTMARE
I sat outside in front of the house reading the day’s newspaper in Livingstone. I was unemployed and running my eyes over vacancies column. I regrettable scanned through the numerous advertised vacancies hoping to I get school started or when I finished my studies would figure out what job suited me best. I was tired of finding nothing that fits my educational qualifications. I was willing to take any good for nothing piece of work while I waited for my legal documentation. But they wasn’t any any good for nothing piece of work for m in the paper. I came to accept in a country like Zambia there isn’t much opportunities even for the most learned trainees and very experienced person ell, despite so I had to keep my head up I hated a situation were I would sit around doing nothing.
I disappointedly turn over to the politics page at the end back halt of the paper. I read about severe disciplinary measures being exculted against former ruling MMD members, whom the majority of Zambians are accussing of plundering their resources and responsible for their economic woes. To to the left of the story is another story about a pelican from the copper belt region, accused of money laundering after about a billion kwacha and four AK 47’s were found buried in a trunk in his farm. He was making headlines for threading to shot the informer as well as the investigative in the case.
Mr Kabwe comes out from his hous. He is firstly my landlord and second my relative by clan. He stands at the door holding his waist with his right hand I knew he was waiting for me to raise my to raise my head so we can greet. But I can’t raise my head, it is too heavy for me. Mine was a head full of problems and that I shamefully try to avoid Mr Kabwe. I have suffered a lot in my life and he successful compared to most Zambians. During my short stay in Zambia I came to be very close with almost each and every employee of Mr Kabwe, they were so generous and viewed me as someone with a better position in society. But I never viewed my self as such let alone I never see my self as better than A, I believe people are equally the same. However Mr Kabwe was aware of my intelligence and he was troubled to why I could be friends with his almost illiterate employees. No how I would spare myself from someone because of their education, religion, tribe or race. I have people who are so much educated than I, some of whom excutives for larger co-operates, yet they are friends with me. Why would I let a man indoctrinate me with his own beliefs ? I have my way of life, I’m in the world for people and people are in this world for me, doesn’t matter were they come from or what they own. A person is person to me.
Mr Kabwe’s workers told me how life was tough in Zambia, have they know, they would not had not sermoned about the poverty levels in their country. i have seen it already by my own eyes, there is poverty in my homeland but not the extent of Zambia.
Most of Mr Kabwe’s employees has worked for him for more than three Christmases, and perfectly executed their duties. Yet Mr Kabwe offered was treating them as less humans to him and offering them a slave wages.
Life was a farce to me I wouldn’t bear accept someone as a friend or elder, who does intentional oppress and exploit his employees, especially that all of them were breadwinner to their families, as well as extended families. But what hurt me most was that non of the children’s of Kabwe’s employees managed to send their children to school, this all because of his exploitive behavior. Mr Kabwe makes enormous profits from his business yet he won’t pay his workers a decent wage.
My heart bleeds that these people has lost hope, no one can help them, the labour department is so shaky and corrupted ( thats why Chinese exploiters operate at will) . Besides even if Kabwe’s employees tried to take him to the labour department, he would use his money and come out clean, for that reason not even a single worker is prepared to take that risk and lose his job. Other than Mr Kabwe using his money power to bribe officials, black, even some whites Zambians especially those in farming and cattle ranching areas of such as Monze, Mazambuka, are believed to be involved in cultism. It’s shocking that most of Zambians believe that there business can not in a way succeed without sort of using (muti) or human blood.
I knew Mr Kabwe was still waiting for me to raise my head. He coughs and gets down the slow step
” What are they saying in the paper today? ” he asks as he comes closer to to me.
“How did you sleep ?” I asked him because i knew that was what he expected me to do before we can talk about anything. I believe every good day beings with greetings. Greetings drives away ill feelings and bad smell from the mouth.
After I had witnessed by my own eyes how Mr Kabwe treats his employees. I was very upset and furious ” I couldn’t understand why man has became so greedy and wants to grab everything that comes his way and doesn’t want another man to have what he has.
Although Mr Kabwe is averagely wealthier than most Zambians and millions times than I, he did not like the idea of removing his own Kwacha’s to purchase newspaper. However he wants to know whats going on within Zambia and the world, despite that Mr Kabwe was literate he so much wanted my expertise in each every issue in the newspaper. Even through I had made it known to him that I wasn’t that academically learned. But still he wasn’t entirely convinced, he believed I was better capably than his sons attending university in Kitwe, he had abandoned when the polygamous relationships he had with their mothers ended.
I can read Mr Kabwe’s fears and he can read my worries. He sees his ten children from different polygamous relationship as a threat to the existence of his business, in what way I couldn’t exactly figure out. However what confused me dismally about this man who wanted to be a friend and a father figure to me, was that he never wanted any of his children near him and that I saw as very strange. He always complained to me that he doesn’t trust them nor their mothers. He believed they would they steal from him or plot to kill him so they can take over the business. They was reason for him to think such, when you birth children and can’t look after them, what do you expect ? especially when you have the resources to but intentional withdraw from them.
I fail to understand why would a father let children he birthed out of his will suffer? Where do all his money go to ? Why can’t he employee them ? What have they sinned ?
What was so special about me? Why would Mr Kabwe trust me and pretend to be a good mentor ( father) when his own children were living as orphans while he was alive. When he was involving himself in polygamous relationships as he still does it was all fun. What made me so upset was not that I’m anti polygam. But that despite all the mess Mr Kabwe has caused through his polygamous behavior, he saw no wrong about it. He blames his former wives for bearing so many children for him. He advised me to marry more than one woman, as doing so would make the woman respect me and behave like wife. Sheer madness.
I believed Mr Kabwe had to take responsibility and resume his paternal duties as a parent and father to his children first before trying to impose himself as father to me. Had it not been for culture that forbids us from challenging an adult, I would had protested wildly against him thinking, his children were a problem because of his wives and thinking neglecting his children to be looked after by their uncles wasn’t a wrong thing.
In my culture elders should not be answered back or challenged when talking their opinion, unless when you are asked a question, it is regarded as bad manners as it is to look the elder in the eyes when talking to you. But my mind had became so rebellious against such beliefs, I have had too much suffering no one can tame my mind to believe and accept polygamy and that one has the right to abandon his children.
I hate endless sermons that seems to lead me no way, but no how I could tell Mr Kabwe his attitude, I hated culture deprived me of that right but how long were I was to hide the sentiment I had developed against Mr Kabwe?.
My silence paved the way for Mr Kabwe to further advance manipulating me thinking I was in support with the way he handled his children and employees.
Life in a Zambian prison
A Zambian friend ( relative) by clan whom I dealt with as a middle man to acquire my …………. was very generous and liked me so much to stay in Zambia, go attend school and play for his football team over the weekends, made up of mostly customs clearing agents. When he came by the other day, It turned out, I was out of my residential compound for my then favorite hanging out spot, Mukuni Village, I liked the village so much that if I could had gotten my paper work right my thoughts were to be based there while attending school in Livingstone. Two things I liked about the village, same language, as in my village, same values and beliefs and the glimpse of seeing mountains of my village. That I believed gave me security.