Africans time condemn Polygamy

polygmayIn many different ways, we as African society must continue to weigh on many social issues as our forefathers did. Polygyny  should be condemned from all angles left and right for the fact that it’s not something right in this modern times of ours. With all the nasty illness such as HIV and abuse of woman in our communities no way we should be supporting nor promoting it.

First of all, almost all men already like having as many female partners as possible why we men think it’s our Godly given right to have as many woman as we may want?  Why do we complain and became outrageous with the idea of a woman becoming polyandry? What is unfair here that is not unfair for women? Do we men think we are much more human than woman? Do we think love can be shared without jealous? It’s no secret that we can never share our woman with someone else why then we expect woman to? Don’t they have same feelings of affection as us?

They are some of us men who want to hide with the biblical examples and teachings that we men have natural penchant to be with scores of women, those who do must come out straight that they do so to satisfy their sexual vanity other than anything.

Many of such people argue to be given the chance to be given the unhindered chance to keep as many women as their partners but do we really look after or love all these women the same as the next one? It will never happen that a man will love all the woman equally, its human nature to have a favourite one and how do the others feel? In my opinion there are there only to serve that man’s sexual desires, In other words they are that man’s sexual toys. Polygamy doesn’t and will never promote freedom, it rather promotes unfaithfulness because for me unfaithfulness isn’t only going at the back of your woman and bed other ladies but simply pretending to love the other woman as the other when you know very well you don’t.

Everyone wants to be free to associate, choose, decide and so on but such privilege shouldn’t extended to polygamy. If a woman stays in a polygamous relationship or marriage doesn’t mean that she is necessary happy, In most cases it’s about circumstances, In our African societies most women housewives dependent on the man, if so they  have limited options and have no choice but to stay in the situation they are not happy in . Why there is no men who ever tell his first wife that he intend to marry multiply women when that man is proposing marriage to that woman ? Why most woman hide from the woman at the beginning that they have other woman? It’s simply because no woman would accept such only a gold-digger would and that alone tells us something is amiss with polygamy.

I seriously disagree with some that polygamy helps prevent or minimize adultery because those who are into it they tend hide the relationship first and only come out when their under the cover of darkness sexually relationship with that woman is expose its only when they make that woman their wife, Isn’t that cheating would they come out if they were not caught? The answer is NO. If a man enjoys having multiple sexual relationships then that means that man will have new sexually relationships every time until his last breathe and imagine how many woman he would have bedded or married in his life time. If one really loves their partner they shouldn’t be temptation to cheat because in my opinion polygamy is desire to fulfil that sexually ego, it’s a sort of addiction to having different kind of woman every week or month and it’s very difficult to treat, But the treatment is abstain from the practice in the first place

Polygamy was part of our  Africans culture yes  but not only us many other cultures too but times has changed and those other cultures has abandoned this iron age practice so why not us Africans?  Long gone are the days of practicing this barbaric form of culture to feel proud, dignified and respected in society , all of us feel proud and dignified and respected  if we are financially or academically successful, Tell me  In which African society these days you can be regarded as powerful because you have twenty wives? Help me here I don’t know any, which means the practice has become outdated as cassette tapes. We Africans must accept that times changes polygamy was practiced by great men of both the bible and Koran yes,  but are these people who cultures are close to the Bible and Koran, of which their Bible and Koran is our daily bread today still practising such ? Don’t know it’s for you to answer.

Yes Abraham had more than one wife. Jacob had more than one wife. David had more than one wife. Solomon had more than one wife. Mohamed had more than one wife but that was then we can’t compare those times to now as I stated earlier times changes, they was times in Africa when presidents would stay in power and did as they wished and it was something acceptable then, but due to times changing its now unacceptable for a president to stay beyond his or her third term, If he or she tries we take to the streets or take up arms.

Polygamy doesn’t reduce the number of unmarried women in society, it increase the number of unhappy women in society and how would a unhappy women raise and groom children who would be productive in society when grown up, when herself she not happy and in situation of a sort of slavery marriage ? It’s not about reducing the number of unmarried woman in society that matters, it’s about having happily married women, If a woman is single and happy I think she much better off than a married unhappy woman in an polygamous relationship, Marrying off woman into polygamous marriages with the hope that that their problems will be solved through these marriages is no different to rounding up every unemployed individual and offer them employment in fields where its proven they will after sometime be treated less human.

We know that it’s a man’s responsibility to provide for the family but when it comes to most polygamous relationships when the man falls out with the woman, so are the children of that certain woman, Most fathers in polygamous relationships can’t even afford to provide for all the children, when if they had one woman they would, so don’t tell me there is a humanitarian part of polygamy instead there is a disastrous part of polygamy where by children have to make ends meet on their own when their own father is alive

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Be grateful and learn from those who had it all and lost it all

Ephraim Ntlamo

Ephraim Ntlamo

As a young man with so much potential to move mountains and aspiration  multi- millionaire to be in future, I must say I’m very grateful  for the examples of what not to do with money after you have made it big in this world. We had surely had of the Curtis James Jackson III, Tyson’s and Micheal Jackson’s of this world going broke, We have learned that reckless spending just as the HIV virus doesn’t choose who to make bankrupt , We all know what spending as if there is no tomorrow can do us and our future perhaps that of our children too. The above mentioned gentlemen’s had the world at their disposal they had the world in their palms but then we ask our selves what went wrong ? Its of-course hard to believe a dollar multi-millionaire, Oh not Zimbabwean dollar millionaire can lose everything from mansions in high-end suburbs  to monster sport cars to having to rent slam in notorious neighborhood.

It’s no joke people who spend their money as if there is no tomorrow end up in deep financial trouble these people go broke because they lack financial education , they tend to think life is all but materialistic stuff, furthermore they lack investment knowledge for them its easy come and easy go everyday but this method is proven not to last forever, You can enjoy success today but shall come a day when you will have it tough, a time the source dries up. However their example should be an eye opener to us all regardless you a millionaire or not, regardless you have minimal education or a PHD holder we are all exposed to bankruptcy.

The age old saying that education is key annoys the hell out of me, many people tend to think and believe that education is about reading books and passing examinations, In my opinion its more than that . Education is map guidance to be able to handle this big good and bad world we live in, Its a pity some of our friends don’t know that. Whether someone has minimal education or not if that person is wealth when I say wealth i don’t necessary mean millionaire I mean health financial position   you probably call it debt free that person has education, because it takes someone intelligence to be debt free not how much money one have,. Therefore education is the life you spend teaching yourself, its your attitude towards what you have got in your hands. If you spend your time teaching yourself investments and saving every cent  not materialistic things you save yourself a great deal of humiliation how painful is it to have it all today then nothing tomorrow ?

A smart person doesn’t focus on fancy clothes nor enjoy the company different gorgeous women every weekend nor drive crazily prized super cars, discipline is key to success, most people if not everybody wants to live an extravagant life style   just as our disgraced brothers however that life style is impractical, its a proven fact that materialistic stuff fade away sooner than we may think  luxury cars beautiful women etc. Spoiling yourself is something that need to be done but one should avoid failing into the seducing allure of extraneous spending., spending under budget once in while is no bad thing however extraneous spending everyday or weekend is i call insanity. There seriously no need to spend a million dollars on a car when you can have something much bigger fuel effective and of the same luxury for fifty thousand dollars, Why not buy something which you know you will sell should the economy bite you ?

Discipline as I said before is key to every men’s success however easier said than done, It needs to start from a young age in one’s life in order to avoid future problems. One should maintain responsibility in their lives and teach himself or herself the the importance of holding on to their belonging and be aware of how devastating it can be to lose what you have worked so hard for if you don’t take care of that thing.

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Black people lets learn to save money

403092_3087076334042_257667427_nThe majority of us black people will continue to get poor and poorer simply because we don’t know how to spend or manage our finances. I have realized that most of us work so hard for money yet we don’t respect it, especially when we have lots of it. You can’t spend all your savings on luxuries and parties, it’s high time we learn to invest and save money

It’s not easy to save and invest but its possible very possible if one wants to. We spend money on useless things like expensive cars, alcohol and clothes as if we are superbly rich. Don’t get me wrong what I have seen is that white people are not all rich as we assume but just very smart with every of their cent, while we black people are busy squandering our monies as if there isn’t tomorrow they will be busy buying shares in stock exchange. And we materialistic things are our investments; do we really believe expensive cars are investments and the future for our kids?

Why can’t we learn from white people and start investing on stock exchange and buying shares rather than showing off with cars that cost millions, when we don’t have even a thousand in our account

My black brothers and sisters never fool yourself cars are not an investment and neither is alcohol or expensive clothes. We have seen our people get good packages after years of hard work only to go on a wild spending spree and not investment a cent, its simply unacceptable to spend your whole package on luxurious materialistic things

I challenge all black people to learn to save and invest in things like property. Invest your money in something that will bring good returns and a smile in the future. If we don’t change our attitude about money matters, we will continue to live in poverty and making white people scapegoats for our arrogance

When it comes to money matters we don’t want our children to inherit our attitude towards money and create broke future leaders of communities who has no respect for money. Financial institutions have a role to play they don’t have to be just profit driven, as they are today but rather promote financial literacy. It’s never too late to invest and start saving today for you will be spared from regrets and tears in future

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You are the driver of your life

mr ntlamoI look upon life as do- it self project. I create my own happiness and self-esteem I never complain when I fail for I take responsibility of the best person I can become. I know people who have given up on their personal goals and I’m very sorry for them as life is never failing but getting on feet and try over and over till you get it right

I have always believed what mind can think of its achievable never adopt a mindset were you think winning in this game of life is far off and impossible; it doesn’t have to be that way. Our lives were not meant to be routine just waiting for that big thing to come, you have to be positive and go out there knock the doors looking you never know what might be awaiting.

I have learned over the years to build on my strengths and working on my weaknesses that is perhaps I have been so successful on my personal goals. I have learned for one to be successful you have to be humble but the same time love yourself while always doing your best to develop your talents and pursue your purpose. We don’t have to throw away our hopes and expectations and reach the lowly point of ‘’ anything will do ‘just because we have tried and failed before. Remind yourself of past victories and that self love and confidence come to you when you accept full responsibility for your own happiness, success and failure.

Think yourself as your own coach, remind yourself again and again of past victories and use them to build strength when faced with new challenges. Be grateful for the ability to control your, response to whatever life throws at you because by so doing you stay focused and on the right track to greatness

Never look at life as unfair towards you when facing any challenges because challenges when thinks positively can open new doors for you- challenges are always accompanied by hidden opportunities.   Put in mind everyone goes through certain challenges in their lives and accept thus how life is meant to be, acceptance will help you not get stuck in the moment but focus on the future and what you capable of pulling through and all opportunities that will come your way in future

If we stop fighting and striving to reach our goals we have set for ourselves, chances are we will be content with waiting for handouts that may come our way, And that would shameful considering if we believe and stop listening to negative friends it would be us handing out to those who are not wise enough and gave up.

Giving up on your goals I regard it an act of sabotage to your future because you are the one who promised yourself on what you want to achieve, If so then your future is in your hands and all it take is patience and not be a coward by dropping your goals easily.

If you have failed in the past year, having just started 2015, you should believe this one will be fruitful for you in many ways. Have a vision instead of mere resolutions. A dynamic life is always fired by vision. Our seasons don’t change simply because of passing time, they change because of people we allow to enter and exit our lives. The greatest tragedy that can happen to someone is to have a lack of vision for their life.  It’s true that poor eyes limit man’s sight, poor vision limits his deeds. Vision is ability to see further than the eye can look

Have a sense of purpose for your future (driver) and never give up



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Who is really is Ephraim Ntlamo ?

30198_400853127461_7683460_nI remember a few years back people from all walks of life asking is it this tiny boy who have started this fantastic initiative (Refugee6 foundation) and the author of that blog. Yes they had reason to few do at 17, I was a small boy believed by few the majority rubbished my ideas but when things started unfolding as if in a movie script they were the first to congratulate me and since then they had been no turning back. People realized what a gold mine of great ideas I was.

My ideas are master class no wonder people always want to hear about them. I’m the kind of person who can turn R100 into a million if I want to, however my success in whatever I do is not because of merely intelligence but attitude and character and knowing what I want in life. Below I have outline why I’m a success and will in future be counted to be among the greatest Zimbabweans perhaps Africans.

  1. I have many friends and easily make them however I need them least in that time of discouragement, crazy isn’t?
  2. I have a burning passion for larger than life things not materialist things through
  3. Every step forward in what I do is dangerous adventure (risk) and I enjoy that and never turn back
  4. I put myself in a situation whereby I don’t invite everyone onboard nor ask for opinions, I just do things my way if that something brings trouble it’s me anywhere who will have to find a solution (way-out) therefore those who sail along or wants to sail along with me and my great ideas has to have a dumb obedience of a dog
  5. I think I’m my life therefore no one is entitled to demand explanation from me for now maybe in future if ever I get married
  6. When I started the Refugee6 Foundation I discovered the power of make believe how it can create a truth great than actuality
  7. What people admire about me is utter bravery and enthusiasm to move mountains
  8. I believe reason distinguishes man from poverty and suffering, thus why I work hard but hard work not strategically planned is nothing
  9. I have learned how soon the world forgets about you and what you have done just from one mistake, I therefore never repeat the same mistake of yesterday
  10. I try hard in everything that appeals to me even through some will be artificial and just bring me trouble and few cents. I believe the next time I will do much better. I’m never ashamed of failure , failure is learning and experience gained
  11. When I score 2% of my plan I’m encouraged to do others
  12. When things are tough I hang up my plans and take any offered employment to get back on my feet being choose is not part of me
  13. I know life to be unpredictable I’m therefore always prepared for the worst, even ending up in a place where I could learn the jargon of thieves and murderers
  14. When people inquire about me they are amused that I’m just a poor someone known to few. I’m always humble and polite achievements don’t make me lose touch with myself. I will see myself as a better Ephraim to that of 10 years ago
  15. When I attempt to do something I at times fail dismally but never bury my head in the sand in shame instead for me failure is a lesson in every lesson you take out positives that will help you tomorrow
  16. I don’t waste my time on people who are bitter towards me for I know it’s human nature that not everyone will like you, poor or rich people will hate or like you
  17. I never get along with hell raising and selfish individuals who never think of others
  18. I never wave my confidence because I know I have sublime to make things to happen and help others
  19. Whether days are dull or not I work like an ant
  20. I’m a firm believer of when you do something do it whole heartedly
  21. When I was a young boy I sat with adults to gain strength of mind something I still do today
  22. I’m blessed with brains because I’m so imagineous and free with all I have those who know me will tell you , I never say “nay”
  23. I never turn from a difficult situation a tired broken man or convinced I’m a total failure
  24. I have trained myself never to agree on things at one go I take relevant attention to what at hand before I make a decision
  25. I wish to outdo not others but the me of yesterday to create another yesterday
  26. My secret to success is belief and courage
  27. I always go for the bigger and difficult tasks because I want to be I want to be 25 years ahead of my age
  28. I always distance myself from superstitions and wishful thinking instead I take action right away
  29. I like danger and it’s a pleasure to meet it and learn from it
  30. When I want to change something about myself I strip that thing as I do with my dirty garment

To be continued



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I make my own luck- take action and risk

ImageYes some people are born lucky but no me I was not born as such; I believe luck mostly favours those who work harder.
Tomas Jefferson, a famous former American president once said:” I find that the harder I work the more luck I seem to have.
Luck requires lots of effort and luck people are positive people just like me. They take risks their lives included and the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. Luck people don’t give up or give in. We tell our inner critic to shut up and get on with the task at hand. We luck people face our fears and obstacle, we always expect miracles and get them.
We go out there and attract good vibe and also brave, we know what luck means; living with corrupt knowledge.

I meet people for a particular reason

People come into my life and I know right away that they are meant to be there. They are there to serve some sort of purpose, it might be to teach me a lesson, help me figure out who I’m or who I want to be. And you may never know who these people maybe, it maybe your roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a stranger.
But when I lock eyes with them, I know at that very moment that they will affect my life in a serious way. Sometimes things happen to me that may seem horrible, painful and unfair at first. However on reflection I find that without overcoming those obstacles I would never had realized my potential. I believe most things happen to test the limit of my soul and without these small tests; life would be like a smooth, paved straight road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable but dull and pointless.
The people I meet in my life makes me who I’m, I learn from bad experiences and believe they are the most important ones. If someone loves me, I give back love back to them in whatever way I can.
I make everyday count and appreciate every moment; I take from those moments everything that I possibly can, for I may never experience it again. I tell myself I’m a great individual and believe in myself. If I don’t it should be surely hard for you to believe me.
I create my own life and then go out there and live it with no regrets, I learn a lesson about life each day and enjoy every moment because I’m great and will be even greater in few coming years.


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Many African men are Boko- Haram, Lobola first, then babies

ImageIt is embarrassing to see how people have turned God’s plan of marriage into something to joke about, No wonder marriages these days has became as fragile as glass.

When families break up there is lot of drama, and the ones who suffer most are the poor innocent kids.

Black people have bypassed marriage by having kids out of the wedlock, to some extent women are to blame as they are the ones who can stand their ground and insist on doing the things the right way before failing pregnant.

Some couples who have children born out of the wedlock even have the guts to brag about their babies as if everything was normal. In our African tradition it is taboo to give the name from the father’s ancestral line if he did not pay lobola. This trend is growing fast; it seems as if our African celebrities especially enjoy being single parents. And our young people look up to these tradition limping individuals as their role models.

As a true African who follows and respects his tradition, I argue every black person to do the right thing and lead a life worthy of following. Furthermore don’t forget that no vows had been exchanged between the two of you. For you to carry his child doesn’t mean anything to because he was not in the father mentality when he proposed you.

He just wants to enjoy you irresponsibly without thinking of the outcome and without everyone acting responsibly and with respect it’s not too late to correct this tradition decay.

Ladies please be strict and lay down your rules and stand by them. Then our children will benefit by having parents who love and take care of them.

If you don’t pay lobola then you are also just like the Boko- Harams

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